Explanation of my last post

... in case you're wondering what in the world is wrong with me. :P

I'm really happy, so I'm different from most pessimists. (at least I'm happy when I'm not dealing with mood swings... lol) I've just come to a point where I see that this world is going downhill, and so is our financial situation. No matter how hard Vince has tried, he still hasn't been able to find a job. I could blame the economy for that, but other people are still getting jobs so I don't think that's it. I think God is allowing it to be this way for a reason. I don't really understand that part... it must be one of those "just wait and trust me, I'll explain later" kind of situations. I just figured I'm done fighting with it... I'm going to wait and see what happens. I'm done with saying "Maybe if I get a job, we'll be able to make it", or looking for a job for Vince myself. It's like a child trying to reach for the cookie jar that his mom placed on top of the refrigerator so he can't have any till she's ready to give it to him. It's only the child's stubbornness that would make him try to keep reaching for it (even though to anyone else, it's obvious that he can't get it on his own... he keeps trying anyway).

There I go again... making analogies. :P I'm just saying that there's got to be a reason God is allowing our finances to fall apart right now. We've still got enough to survive, but that's it. He's definitely teaching me to trust Him, but I've come to a point where I almost expect Him to let us get as poor as we possibly can before anything positive will happen. Trusting Him right now just means trusting that He knows what He's doing, but it doesn't mean life is going to become easier all of a sudden. Trusting Him to take care of us means I shouldn't stress about where the money is going to come from. It means I can be content in whatever state I am, just because I know God is in control and He will never leave us or forsake us.

Anyway, so my kind of pessimism is just believing that things aren't going to get better for a while. It's like when you're going downhill for so long, you kinda get used to it and expect it to last longer... and of course valleys have a part where it stops going down and you either go straight on the flat surface or start climbing back uphill... but I just don't know where the lowest part of this valley is. :-)

Well that's my long rambling post for the day. :P